Beyond the Bema

A look inside Judaism from a convert’s perspective.

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  • A Righteous Vessel

    A Righteous Vessel

    “There is no speech, there are no words, where their voice is not heard. Their music carries throughout the earth, their words to the end of the world.” Beneath the silence, audible only to the inner ear, creation sings to its Creator.

    So, when we pray, we do not read; we sing.”-Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks

    I’ll admit, when I came to the Synagogue for the first time, I was surprised to see a guitar. I guess I was just thinking more traditional. Oh, what I have learned over these months. 

    Now, we sing prayers all the time. Psalm 150 is one of my favorites, among others. It’s nice to know that instruments can be used as a vessel to praise G!d. 

    I was asked to play in an installation for our Rabbi as he is being named Sr Rabbi. 

    If you don’t know, I have a history of playing in a worship band for a Southern Baptist Church. The Cantor, who is seriously one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, asked me to play and I knew it was time to get back out there. I’m playing the bass and man was I rusty. But I got my feel back and were starting to grove. Just in the nick of time. 

    I feel like there are a lot of firsts for me in my journey to conversion. I’ve had to put myself out there. I’ve had to try and not be so introverted. I’ve had to share journal entries because I communicate better in writing. But there is something so beautiful in firsts. 

    So whether it’s learning to get out of my shell, or playing on stage in front of a bunch of people, I’m excited to be a part of it. May our prayers tomorrow be heard not only to the audience and beyond, but to our souls as well, as we aren’t just playing for entertainment on an exciting night, we’re playing to worship G!d, our creator, and man what an honor that is.

    May he use our instruments and voices as a vessel. 

    -Shalom

  • What About Fate?

    What About Fate?

    “HaShem is seen as having a role in shaping the lives of individuals and the people they encounter, as He is believed to be the ultimate source of guidance and destiny. People may be brought into someone’s life for specific purposes, whether to offer help, challenge them, or provide opportunities for growth and learning.  While some people might bring joy and support, others may bring challenges, but even those challenges are seen as opportunities for growth and strengthening one’s faith. The belief is that by trusting in Hashem’s plan, one can find meaning and purpose in the encounters they have with others, even in seemingly difficult circumstances.”

    -unknown

    HaShem can be a bit misunderstood as a convert, trying to weed out everything you knew to this new information. What I like about this quote is that HaShem is depicted as loving and kind. But his kindness can look different from your typical textbook definition.

    I feel I’m a genuinely caring and kind person. But I also think HaSheem tests us. I was basically told I was ready to finish my conversion and was hit with a huge blow at the same time. I not only grew tremendously as a person from this as I dealt with my own personal demons. I grew very much spiritually. I had never felt so close to G!d and it just reminded me that there was a reason for this tough stuff I was going through. I was reminded by my Cantor that this was an opportunity to be closer, 1 on 1 with G!d . And she was 100% right. I’m not glad that happened, but I am glad another door opened spiritually for me. G!d’s kindness may look different for everyone. Lessons from HaSheem won’t always be easy, but their impact will be life changing. I pray we may all be open to our G!d’s kindness as we move forward in this life he blessed us with.