Beyond the Bema

I just had abdominal surgery and am still of a limited diet. Tisha b’Av starts Saturday night. I can’t do a fast due to my limited diet and medical problems.

Now, I remember as far back to my Intro to Judaism class that “we live by the rules, we don’t die by them”. Meaning if it’s a medical necessity, you don’t have to fast among other things included in Judaism.

But, I still feel very guilty. This would be my first fast since I converted and I want to experience all the experience that Judaism has to offer. I lean onto this verse from Ecclesiastes 6:9:

“Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of desire.”

My desire may take a different meaning than those who are participating. I will cultivate a sense of peace by studying the Torah in this timeframe, guarding myself from envy.