Beyond the Bema

First off, I had my Beit Din and Mikvah! The three rabbis on my Beit Din were three that I look up to and respect wholeheartedly for what they bring to the table in serving the Jewish community and how much each one of them have impacted me. The Mikvah was a transforming experience that I will never forget. And lastly, this Shabbat I had my first Aliyah. I was so nervous and anxious and fumbled but it was still beautiful. Also, receiving blessings from the Rabbi and Cantor will literally make you cry. I held it together but it was overwhelmingly amazing and touched both heart and soul.

Jewish people believe people who have converted souls’ were at Mount Sinai to receive the Torah. Basically, it’s “welcome home” once you have converted.

All of my life I had been silently searching for something. I was a shell that followed other religious paths, but my soul was never in it. I never fit in. Not in my mind anyways. I finally found myself last year and I’m not looking back. 

I have prayed so much in this timeframe, more than I ever had in my life. And it was because I knew I was speaking to and praising a God who was there and recognized me as one of their own. I could feel G!ds presence and I can’t tell you in words how that feels- but it’s Devine.

I took an Intro to Judaism class. That was really special. Yes it’s a requirement on your journey of conversion, but it was more than just a check box for me. I learned history, customs and a look into the Talmud (and more). All of this explained by Rabbis who are wonderful in their craft. Some of it I knew from my own study, but there is something about a Rabbi explaining things to you that makes things ‘come to life’. 

And when I say I studied, I mean I studied. I read so many books. I listened to many podcasts. I asked questions. I don’t know everything, that’s for sure. But I have a good foundation, and it’s a beautiful foundation to grow upon. 

I started journaling my journey. It was a way for my rabbi to see my thoughts. I’m a very introverted person and don’t verbalize a lot of what I’m thinking, but I can ‘verbalize’ myself through journaling. I journaled so much I had to create a webpage to host them as my entries were starting to take too much space on my phone. That is how this webpage got started. The biggest thing about journaling about my journey was that I found my love of journaling again. For a very long time, I was creatively stuck. I would try to journal, but it isn’t the same as what I found in Judaism. It wasn’t just an outlet or a way to measure where I am spiritually, sometimes it’s a way to talk to G!d.

I also got the chance to play my bass guitar for my Rabbi’s installation. Being a former worship band member- that was special. It has been 10 years and I was rusty. But I came through with a lot of prayer and help from my Rabbi and Cantor. I also just played with them again for Pride Shabbat. I’m still not 100% as I was 10 years ago. But I do hope they keep asking me to come back! 

I became a Jew on June 17, 2025, which is 21 Sivan 5785. I will never forget that day and what a special rebirth it was. My Hebrew name is Ra’anana. Yes, it’s the name of a city in Israel. But the meaning behind it is centered around freshness and coming anew. I believe that fits my journey, as I am a new person now. 

I won’t lie, I still feel in shock. But I am beyond ecstatic about my journey and can’t wait to see where it takes me!